One of the biggest things that could ever have happened, happened this weekend. Not only did we deal with the past, we experienced it again and we picked each other up and grew from there. After 10 years of not having closure I gave a very special gift to my mother for her to go sit and find healing through what she needs to in order to close the chapter of that book. It doesnt mean its the end of the road and lest we forget, its more being able to love and appreciate without forgetting.
I stopped crying and it is said that once one doesnt cry anymore, it doent hurt anymore, I have healed and that I all owe to the grace of God, My life was thrown out the window, I was frustrated to walk barefoot over burning coals but I took it in my stride and did it, I will always miss her and what we shared, she was my real best friend and I miss having her to talk to but the will always be a part of me and she plays an integral part in my daily life. Through her I have learned to live my life to the fullest, forgive easily, carry no judgement, make the most of each day and most of all to love and tell the people you love because today might be your last day.
When I sit now, I can appreciate what has happened over the last couple of months. I had to accept what was given to me and through this my best relationship was formed with my heavenly dad God and also with my family. My relationship with my mom and dad (stepdad although my dad nonetheless) has grown into a new level of acceptance and support. My aunt and uncle has stepped in and taken responsibility for an individual who does not really want to be a part of my life but I feel that the darkness surrounding the individual is his own to come to terms with, accept and go through, therefore I forgive with out expectation and love without limitations. The person I will always treasure and feel like I have been reincarnated in the 3rd generation, my ouma (my grandmother), I am her double, we think the same, do the same things, like the same things, its almost like we are twins but just born 40 years apart.
I finished - FINALLY - the book "The Shack" (I highly recommend it) and I honestly feel like I have grown from reading that book and realising that God is particularly fond of me, of us, we are his children. The religions we follow are man made, God is not a Christian, nor is he Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, no, God - Jesus - The Holy Spirit, they are for us, in us and around us, believe - forgive - love. I am a child of God and I will carry on professing his wonderful miracles.
I have had a great, even phenomenal 2 weeks, I have over exceeded my target at work and made such amazing new friends, I am not boasting or bragging, no, I am simply telling you by having faith in God and myself I was able to reach a new level of success. I am not perfect by no means, I was a little rebelish and smoked again in the last week but decided yesterday while running from my unit about 500m to the gate so my Uber wont drive away, that maybe its best to stop the bad habit again. I also used one of my favorite curse words and made a mental note to not say it anymore and also my worst - gossip - not to get involved in it or be a part of it, I am not setting a good example if I do it so - NO more doing it Chantelle!!
On sunday, after spending a magical morning with my mom, my baby bag was stolen. In it was my only set of keys and gate remote, cellphone, wallet and most importantly, my daughters vaccination certificate. For most people this would be the end of the world but to me its really the opposite. Yes my parents and family have to once again help me financially to get a key cut for my car (my car was towed away on a low bed truck because I couldnt drive it but thank goodness we live in South-Africa and one of the security guards could break into my car and open my door for us to retrieve my belongings), I have had to rely on other people to help me get to work and back, I needed to ask assistance with acquiring a cellphone, my ID and passport are gone too but both needed to be replaced anyways and I dont even know where to begin with my childs vaccination certificate. BUT and its a big BUT - I hope sincerely whomever took my bag makes use of the contents, there are reasons why things get stolen and I know this was a ploy by die devil to bring me down and cause negativity and doubt in my mind but I am not letting it get the best of me. Its a bag not a life.
So once again, be positive, accept your situation and grow in it, become the best version of yourself and learn to love and forgive, its the best thing you can do for yourself to set yourself free.
Peace and love xxxx
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