I am ready

I want a Sunday kind of love.... A love that lasts past Saturday, a love that's not just love at first sight, I don't want a lonely road that leads nowhere - Performed by Etta James.

The song rings so true, people fear love because a one night stand or a chance encounter does not quite last past Saturday night.  Once again your morals and values come in as well, you may be the type to give it all away or you may be the type to not want to take that chance and be labeled as playing hard-to-get.  

In my case, it's respecting my decision to wait, yet and yes it's a big yet, it doesn't really matter because I keep pursuing the wrong person.  It's almost as if I am not learning my lesson or maybe I'm not what the "right" person.  I personally couldn't give a damn but it does eventually boil down to that.  And then you get the type of guy who is interested in you and there is nooooo way it's going to happen. Or you are interested in the other dude and he is as blind as a bat, either because you just don't tick all the boxes or he genuinely doesn't know.  Also as soon as I fancy someone, they disappear, or is married, or "just not ready for a relationship".

I have done a lot of soul searching over the last 9 months, I've been single, I have not gone on a date, I have been completely celibate and fighting the thoughts in my head. I e read the self help books, I've established my problem, I've worked through it and have come to the conclusion that, I am in fact ready, I am ready to meet my person.

In this long and painful road of recovery that I walked by myself, I have finally found me. The me I was supposed to be from the beginning, the person who does not need to depend on another to be happy, a person who can easily be by myself.  I am finally happy. 

I have my life on the right path finally, I have been reborn as a Christian and pledged to my God and savior that I will live a righteous life and now I wait.... 

..... For him to find me.  It's a foreign feeling, experience and acceptance.  It is what I want, someone to notice me.  There it is, the hurdle.  Notice ME!! 

When you look at me, do you see a single mother waiting for a man brave enough to pursue her or do you see me....

The woman who isn't scared to do it on her own, a person with a lot more to give than what you think she is capable of, a individual who can love you as you are and a nurturer with a caring heart.

It is rather sad that there are women out there who are twice the man then what most men are today. The ladies are stepping up to the plate and raising other people's children and providing a life for a struggling partner because the men of today would rather duck and run.  So when I think of the packaged deal that I have in my life, I have come to accept that it would take an even stronger man to suit up and join my circle.

I am ready...