the art of appreciation

Sit and focus, look at the people around you, your animals, your family, your children or just you surrounded by you.  Look at them, don't just see them. Now open you heart and feel the emotion that plays in conjunction with looking at them. The deeply warm and satisfyingly feeling of joy, love, heartache, pleasure, pride and most of all being content. Family, friends, children, lovers, partners, all bring us some kind of sense of "belonging".

Today I read some sad news, I have been following this family who has a son with congenital heart disease, he is only a few months old and has spent about half his life in the NNICU where his mom and dad kept staying positive and kept on praying.  Today the parents posted that he is not a suitor for heart surgery and have decided to start getting off his meds slowly and take him home on Monday so that he may spend his last hours at home with his family.

"WarriorsforWalt"

Once again after reading that my whole perspective of life fell back into place again.  We live such hectic lives to please other people and yet we do not spend time with the small people, the people that count.  I gave my babies the biggest hugs I could and loved and kissed them just that little extra because we are all on borrowed time.

What this has also done for me is made me even more determined to keep believing that I will find love again with someone who will see the value of these little souls and how they keep me grounded and happy.  I am nothing without my children and they will not be a sacrifice.

So admire the people around you, tell them you love them, hug them out of the blue because where that mother is preparing to let go of her angel back to heave, we can still throw our arms around the little people we have around us.

May God bless Liz and her husband through this difficult path they are walking on together, little Walt will be with his Holy Father where he won't have to suffer any longer.

Please pray for this family on Monday when they say goodbye

Know your Plan

Putting yourself out there.  It’s hard, you will be judged, you will fail and you will more often than not end up right at the beginning again.  Before you can take that step forward, you have to reevaluate the situation.  Are you ready for what you will find and will you be strong enough to deal with being let down.

People are mean, they don’t like seeing people do better than them, they don’t like competition and they don’t want to be sidelined.  In all kinds of relationships you will find those people, it’s a matter of knowing the quality rather than having the quantity.  If you think of any new venture you pursue, there is always that part of “getting to know an individual”.  Its fun, exciting and then you find the roadblocks, they either make you stumble and fall or you simply turn around and walk away.

In today’s society it is rather hard to find quality.  There are so many lonely souls who want to find love but we keep looking in the wrong places and yet all the wrong places are where we are at too.  Take for instance, dating sites, I’ve tried a very popular one – it should rather be called “onenighter” because that is all you are going to get, I think I’ve only heard of one successful relationship come from there.  There are so many and yet the quality is limited to handicapped or disabled, dropped dead gorgeously gay or just plain nasty.  Now I am vein, yes I wont hide that fact but there needs to be substance, I almost feel the pretty boy are the worst picks, I have never met a quality pretty boy.  That aside, you then have the likes of social media and networking, to a degree that could work or you could just look like a stalker.  Bars and Night Clubs have never really produced anything to write home.

So you are basically left with the likes of your friends and family who does not always understand when you say there is a specific profile you are looking for and they just hand out the single guys like lucky packets, we all do, we all have that one friend we so badly just want to have a good girl snag him up and he just doesn’t get the girl.  It is a sad reality but it’s a reality. 

Morals and values are non-existent, we all want the model on the front page and cry our hearts out when they drop us like a hot potato the moment they are done with you.  You almost feel like asking yourself, where have all the good men gone.   While driving home I was listening to a song which is rather controversial but in a way rings true – Garbage – Crush, the sound track for Romeo and Juliet, the words are as follows:

“I will pray for you, I will pray for you, I will sell my soul for something pure and true, someone like you”

When last did you actually sit down and put what you want into the universe?  When last did you ask for something rather than just taking what you can get?  Is asking for someone to be good looking, well educated, has substance, well established, looks after themselves, accepts a person’s reality, well mannered, big hearted, respects morals and values too much to ask?  No and that’s why it is good to be picky and set in your ways of what you want, we all deserve our happily ever after…. How we get it is the mission, the crutch, the “do not pass go”. 

It would help if there was a manual to this whole life thing but in a way it is nice and exciting to wake up every day not really knowing what awaits and just accepting the unknown, being grateful for life’s mysteries.  It’s a joy ride, keep enjoying it to the fullest…. 

Unnoticed Miracles

As I sit here in my bed, feeling very sorry for myself and wishing this flu would just pass by already, I never really stopped to think about how things have turned out for me over the last couple of months.  Before going into that, I just finished watching "Miracles from Heaven".  I highly recommend this movie to anyone and everyone, I cried my eyes out and now my nose is even more blocked than before.  

This is my blog, some things I have written on here which I am not completely fond of or particularly feel proud about it but nevertheless I left it on here, the purpose for it all is to one day read it all from the beginning and see how I crew from a caterpillar to a butterfly.  It all takes baby steps in the beginning, what I failed to write about was all the blessings.  I am a christian, probably not the best christian or the most obedient one at times but I believe in my heart that God loves me.  

I can tell you about all the instances that he was there and I just took it for granted but there are times now that are more relevant than the times before this blog transpired.  The thing is, I know a lot of people aren't where I am spiritually and everyone has their own views on what they think / feel and want to believe in, I share this for those who are looking for more, who want to notice that miracle and is not ashamed that their "beliefs" cramp their style.  

I am not here to convert anyone, I am basically just telling my story...

From losing everything, to slowly regaining everything.  A job opportunity presented itself when I was desperately looking, I had to take a leap of faith and it worked in my favor.  I finally moved into a bigger home, one where we werent all sharing a bed in my small one bedroom apartment but I thank God for those moments, they shaped me and made me more humble.  I regained friendships lost and made new ones along the way.  There were days I worried about not having enough food, days I worried that I might not make it through the month and every time that happened, a little miracle showed up.

I have been blessed with a car that can drive me to work and back, family that is there for me til the bitter end, a very satisfying job, a church I love, children that fill my heart with joy, food in my cupboards, blankets on my bed, warm water to bath in and most of all a God that keeps supplying even when I dont have the guts to ask.

When you looking for a miracle, just stop and think about what you needed most over the last couple of days and how you have somehow managed to get it, that is the biggest part of it all, noticing the unnoticed miracles around you.

I was asked today if I was happy and my answer to that was one that will keep me smiling to myself, "as long as other people are happy, then I am happy".  I would rather see you smile then hurt, my boat will come one day but for now I am content.

Peace. Love and Happiness

xoxoxox