Is it really DRAMA

How much can a person possibly handle in their lives.  I have heard everything from "what doesnt kill you makes you stronger" to "God only gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers" or my best "Tomorrow is another day", well you know what - I have probably done it all, seen it all and been there got the t-shirt and returned it.  Live is hard, people should stop sugar coating it.  I have had one of the most difficult years of mu life, I have had 2 loved ones die in a space of not even two months and you know whats the worst, people are not supportive or even give a damn, for them its easy to say "Sorry Chan - oh by the way can you do this or that".  What has life come to?  Are we programmed to be these compassionate-less robots.

I am not coping, I am struggling in all areas of my life and you know what, its damn hard and difficult.  So when you have a bad day, come talk to me, your life will just seem that much better in the end.  

Here's to praying for a light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully its not an oncoming train.

xoxoxo

Take my word for it

Expectation is the root of all evil - William Shakespeare.  I don't think he would've said it unless he experienced it.  In some form or another we are let down by someone at least once a day, never do we plan for it to happen, yet it happens.  I once forgave a person very close to me without having any expectations because I knew he wouldn't be what I expected of him, I made my peace.

What irritates me is the fact that we set ourselves up for failure most of the time.  For this to make sense I need you to forget about the law of attraction or what will be will be and just hear me out.  More often than not we are presented with the true, it's there staring at you, if it was a snake it would actually bite you, problem is we let it bite us and pretend that the venom doesn't eat away all the good and turn what was once all together into rotten nothingness.

When a person says to you they might come across as something but rest assured they definitely not like that, 99 times out of a 100, they are exactly that.  So if you ever hear - I'm not a prick, or shallow, or violent (yeah run when you hear that one), or a ladies man, or (my best so far) I don't just message random people on Facebook messenger (how stupid can a person be, it's shows when last you were active dumbass), the list goes on and on.  The cherry normally on the cake is the fact that these individuals feel "entitled" because they have people feeding their egos or need a rebound from a previous relationship.

So many of us have actually been in this position, we overlook all the clues and then sit for weeks picking up our broken pieces and start sticking them together.  I don't know why it's so hard to be honest, I know who I am and I will never intentionally treat someone badly because it always comes back to me, although most of these people get away with murder.

My best guy friend is the most sincere person I know, he is upfront and won't create any expectations for anyone to get hurt because it's a simple fact, he knows what he wants.  Well you know what, I'm done, it's not the end of the line it's the beginning of a new chapter.

I am not going to ever settle for anything less than the best.  When I give my valuable time up that I could have spent with my child, it better be worth it.  I am worth the chase and you know what, I don't deserve anything less.  So just to make you aware, if a guy tells you he is "not" a prick, 100% guaranteed, he is the biggest self absorbed, chauvinistic, self entitled man you will meet, and if he says he's not, make sure he can prove it.

Thanks for this lesson once again, just goes to show that one must always trust your gut feeling.

XOXO

When you find me

It's a low whistle, for some it's a murmur, others feel it in the deep density of their bones.  Where it comes from will always remain a mystery. You use it as you would use your hand to pick up a pen, never doubting it, you follow what it tells you.

It's intriguing, this wild free spirited being. The scars from wounds once unbearable, all healed to a perfect mark of a warrior. Eyes that are blessed by the color of Mother Earth, they see the life in things long forgotten and enables the need to be reborn.  The touch of skin engulfs the surrounding mystery of unknown waters lying dormant as the dead sea.  Fire flows deep in a beating heart, struck to life by the hands of God, woven into a being by the spirit itself.

The sheer gravitational pull of inviting lips as scarlet as the blood that flows through these veins, trapped in a moment of sweet surrender leaving only the heat of molten lava to pass over your weary skin, attracted to the raw primal senses awakening deep within, this unfamiliar feeling becomes an obsession.

Resistance gives you control for a moment but the heart of a stallion beats beneath a rib cage to keep it from running wild.  To have yet never to hold, the heart wants what it wants...

Always to be seen yet fighting for a love that promises forever.  Wanting to be needed but always avoiding to be wanted. Standing still just as a statue that was planted, waiting for the day to break free from the grips of reality.

Oh to be lost in oneself only to found in  the truest most beautiful moment when a soul makes you whole.