“One sheep, two sheep, did I put the stove off, when last
did I check if the door was locked, tomorrow I am not consuming sugar or wheat
or diary……. Uhm….. one sheep, two sheep, I need sleeping tablets” , that’s basically
trying to whooosaaa and fall asleep and if you look at my Facebook and Instagram
activity during 12am and 2am, you’ll see I am either sharing stuff or working.
They say that 3am is for the thinkers, the poets, the
dreamers and the writers, guess my body or mind kind of missed that memo. And trust me, I do not for one second feel
tired during the day. I think I can safely
classify myself as a functional insomniac.
Maybe I think too much; I do its definitely not a “maybe”. Most thoughts at night are about what I would
like to achieve the next day, how not to bloody well procrastinate and wake up
hoping to the day that will finally be “the day”.
All of us are dreamers, I put my dreams into prayers to God,
some Meditate and some believe in a higher power. Some say they are goals and Einstein informed
our generation that we must not tie a goal to a person or an object, rather
place your goal on a dream or achievement you want to reach however every night
I go to bed and pray the same old prayer in hopes that the next day would be a
different day. Don’t get me wrong, I
make sure I write down what I am grateful for every day, at least 3 things and I am blessed with a lot that God has placed in my life. Once a very rich, old, unhappy and miserable
man or should I say icon said, “While being interviewed many years ago, J. Paul
Getty was asked, how much money do you want? Getty replied, "just a little
bit more".
We get what we want in
the season we are supposed to have it but we always want just a little bit
more.
I am really happy where my life is heading, I took on a challenge I thought I’d never get
through. If we spoke a year ago you
would never believe I am the person I am today, I lost everything and felt the loneliest
I ever felt, yet I focused on what I needed to do to prove to myself that I can
be a nice person. The only thing I just
cant wrap my head around is the fact that I have been asking, praying for love –
my happily ever after since I can remember and yet it feels like the biggest
challenge in my life.
And then again I listen to other couples and their issues
while eating my cornflakes for dinner, because you know, I can do what I want,
watch what I want and wear what I want.
That to me is the only part of being single that is so appealing. I can decide on the spur of the moment to do
something different, go out (if my babysitter is available) (don’t judge) (you
are judging, stop it!!) when I want and don’t have to do anything to please
anyone else.
Yes I know, you guys will be going blue in the face soon, I
know the right man will eventually come into my life by mean of me stalking him
or randomly selecting him off of social media (joking!!!). I will probably bump his car accidentally or
flip him the bird in traffic or something totally random, yet and if I may,
please God, Jesus, Holy Spirit (not being facetious now), Budha, mahatma Gandhi,
Mother Teresa’s spirit, The Lion King, someone with power please make this
happen soonish, at the right time yet kind of a little bit before its supposed
to be due.
Believe me at this point I am living each and every day like
my last haha.
Like I always say “may the odds ever be in MY favor”
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