I've never really been big on
patience, in fact I hate it. If I am made
aware of something then I want to know now, like honestly NOW!!!! Instant gratification,
the bane of my existence. Cant we just go back to waiting for a smoke signal in
the distance and just be happy with that, somehow I just realized that that
could be a problem as well because I might just start seeing imaginary
things. I want to be able to wait and
not rush into things, I want to be content with just enough info. The elders say that once you have children
then you will learn patience, children teach you patience. Yes agreed, when you have to eventually after
begging a toddler to get dress and asked if you could help and you get a stern “I
do it myself mommy” then you calmly count to a 100 and sit down and wait, you
have now been told by the highest of authorities because goodness forbid you
helped that little terrorist and all hell breaks loose.
So yes and no, children teach you
how to have patience (just enough not to go crazy) with them but life still say
NO, I don’t have patience with life.
Maybe it’s a control thing, I want to have too much control. People always complain about my driving but
once I am in others cars (especially with my mom) I want to soil my shorts, I
can’t believe I drover with her when I was younger and survived!! I love you
mom J. Anyways she is a good driver, maybe I am just
overreacting due to not having the brake pedals on my side of the car…… Love
you still mommy…. Ok before I get
disowned, I have thought of ways to maybe let it go.
You see, there is a saying, Let
go and let God. Whatever is meant to
happen will happen, your path has been pre-planned and your destiny is set so no
use in rushing something. Be positive
and believe in your heart that what you are meant to receive, you will
receive. Life has a way of getting you
excited for nothing sometimes but isn’t it sometimes the thrill we live for,
that one moment gives us a glimmer of hope where there once were nothing. It’s the small things. To be brutally honest my life has been turned
180 degree in the right direction since giving my life over to God yet the
other 180 degrees of change that need to happen is by putting my complete faith
in him and trusting that behind the scenes he is doing his work and putting
things together for me that will benefit my life as he sees it fit.
As we approach the Easter weekend
and reflecting on what was sacrificed for us in order to be forgiven, I think
its just fitting to trust and believe that he will sort out whats next, he has
put the desires in my heart, he has put me in a situation which I never really
even imagined I’d be in or want to be in at the moment but I am embracing it
and I am learning the value of it. I
have gone from having everything, reflecting sometimes on how much I used to
spend and how much extra money I always had and how I took all of that for
granted to loosing almost everything I have ever held dear to me, trying to
free wheel down the highway to save my petrol.
But in all of this mess I have put myself in, I have found myself,
slowly but surely rebuilding my character I lost over the years and becoming
the strong person I am supposed to be.
Here’s to a wonderful long
weekend *cheers*
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