It’s a bittersweet feeling. Anyone who knows me will know that I have wanted
to turn 30 since I turned 21. I
feel I just need to get out of my 20’s
and start that next chapter in my life yet as the realization of the day approaches
I start feeling a bit nostalgic. It has
suddenly dawned on me that a whole decade has gone past faster than you can say
“train wreck”. If I have to sum up the
last 10 yearsit would probably sound like this….
A long, long time ago….
…..Chantelle moved to the big city
to study beauty therapy. She moved
around a few times, stayed in Carletonville, Krugersdorp, Alberton, Bryanston,
Sunninghill, Kyalami, Douglasdale, Beckedan and Roodepoort. She has been
engaged 3 time and only one engagement materialized into a marriage. There was a big part of her life she lost the
day her sister passed away. She almost lost her life on the very same day
exactly a year after her sister in a car accident but miraculously survived. There were different religions practiced, Christianity,
Judaism and she was once an atheist but back to being a Christian. There was a
time she had everything she ever wanted but felt like she actually had nothing. A lot of time passed in between strained relationships
with family members and friends. She
survived 3 c-sections, severe viral meningitis, anaphylactic shock from a grape
fruit allergic and she almost died that day and a tonsillectomy at 25. There was a divorce and no new romantic
ventures. Three magically beautiful girls
were brought into this world. Experience
was accumulated over the years of work and various positions. There are 7 tasteful tattoos that she has
collected over the years and many more she aspires to have. The story is a full
book but not a complete edition yet…
My personal opinion to this whole
thing is that there were a few times I came very close to dying, I think I
could actually feel the grim reaper standing next to me tapping away on his
watch yet every time I was pulled back to this place we call “life”. I must admit I have made quite a mess of my
20’s, there are some moments I just close my eyes and bow my head in shame,
then there are those moments that take your breath away, the moments where I brought
life into this world, those moments were by far the most magical, unscripted,
unexplained, phenomenal days of my life. There are moments when I sit and look
at my children and I am actually proud of the little people they are, they
bring so many people joy, laughter and make life worth living. We don’t value our parents and grandparents
quite as much as the day we become parents.
The late nights, the screaming sessions with your toddler, the
negotiations, the walking zombie running after an overactive child, the semi sober
parent at a kids party because being compos mentis will actually drive you
overboard. You finally have that moment your parents have waited for their whole
life, that moment of you actually realizing what they have sacrificed to see
you where you are right now, those moments you screamed profanities at them and
told them you hate them, those moments hurt them or the time you told them you don’t
need them anymore and their hearts shattered.
Only when you experience that first heartache, that is the moment the
whole situation comes full circle not only for you but for your parents too.
Life has this unexpected why to
rip the carpet from underneath you when you least expect it and I think its
actually character building, we have to constantly be on our toes, learn to
start over and survive. It’s a ongoing
season of Survivor, Fear Factor, Ex on the beach, Bachelor, Bachelorette, Desperate
Housewives and Big Brother all rolled into one. A day to day struggle to fit in
somewhere and make someone happy and live this life we have been given.
To me 30 symbolizes the ending of
my immature years of being a young adult and the blossoming of me into the
woman I have always seen myself becoming.
May my thirties bring the good years I have been yearning for, my the
road of self-discovery come to an end and may I finally accept myself for who I
am and appreciate myself for what I have gone through to get where I wanted to
be.
It’s a nervous and exciting feeling
all in one and may the celebrations be more than what I planned it to be….
2016 - Here's to Welcoming me to my 30’s
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